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Current Mood

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thoughtful

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I've stopped trying to catch 11:11, and i've stopped making a complete mess out of my life. I like how instead of feeling immense pain and sadness, all that's brewing inside me is intense anger and indignation. But soon i will be free.

And so i quote Mervyn, the amount of time left to promos is not enough. It's barely enough for my catching up, not to mention revision. But who ever said i wanted to be perfect? :) Just completed a lit essay and i'm proud of myself for now. It's enough, and i will not attempt any math nor econs at all, unless in a bid to over-stress and kill myself. Everyone seems to have this weird notion that i keep ponning my tutorials (oops) but really, i only skip one or two a week. *beams*

I seem to be dating doctors more frequently than ever, and sometimes i feel pretty guilty that i've ditched stuff for that. Outings with friends and b-ball, i am sorry. But honestly i would rather not, it's sick to know each time i'm getting less healthy, it's like i'm a time bomb, waiting to blow anytime. It scares me when Sarah says that watching me eat is painful and torturous. But what can i do, what's best, apart from just trying to laugh it off? Wouldn't bulimia and anorexia be just as painful, am i gross just like that. But at least i'm not killing myself intentionally. I'm actually killing myself, to think about it. (Internals harming the externals lulz.) And why am i reminded of economies of scale?????

On a lighter note, i'm pretty excited about monday. Arts class ftw, we always seem to come up with such amazing things <3 And now i've got to catch up on my much needed sleep and i'll leave the misery till tomorrow. Thursdays ALWAYS suck, but maybe tomorrow, for a change, things will get better :)

xoxo